seventy two.

oi vey.
days seem to keep getting longer and longer, but i am so thankful at the end of the night when i did everything right. this weekend was such a long weekend.
on Friday Mike got home from work early and asked if Colbert and his girl could come over, i said fine and started getting ready. he told me he was going to steal Ryder for a bit, then take him to the park. they come back a little later and he told me he went to get me flowers but everywhere was closed. i just kind of smiled and nodded. this wasn't the first time he has "tried" doing something nice for me and came up with nothing. later i found out he didn't just go to get flowers, he bought oil for his bike too... but i kept folding clothes and cleaning around the house. after they got back from the park, i was straightening my hair. he told my Colbert would be there in a few, and i was sitting in my underwear. so i look at Mike and tell him, point blank. my hair straightener is on, Ryder likes to try to play with it, watch him, and watch him carefully while i run upstairs and change really quick.
i didn't make it to the top of the stairs before i heard my sons scream....
and he continued to scream for over an hour. i was absolutely furious with my husband at this point, who did nothing but piss me off more by watching me comfort my screaming child for something that he himself did! i took my baby and sat him on the toilet lid and he lifted his right hand to my mouth to kiss after i asked him where his ouchies were. then i saw his little tiny fingers blistering up. that's when my anger grew. i ran his fingers under cool water, i put neosporin on his fingers, i held him, rocked him, bounced him, while he clung to me, just screaming. i started bawling my eyes out and decided that i HAD to do something. so i grabbed my flip flops and walked out the door.
i just drove around for a little bit, trying to calm him down, and he ended up falling asleep but i decided i needed to take him to the emergency room, just to be sure. i had left Mike with Lyvi back at home, so it was just little man and i. i left in such a hurry that i didn't have time to grab him a bottle or a snack or anything, i was hoping it wouldnt take too long.
wrong.
apparently it was a super busy night there. and since Mike was at home, and i was sitting waiting, i couldnt get my son anything to eat or drink. we sat there for 5 hours, before even being called back there. and i am so thankful to a Marine there with his daughter, who also left in a hurry, that he went to make sure everything was turned off in his home, and came back and brought us a sandwhich and a water. that little act of kindness, really made the difference.
finally, almost an hour after my sons bedtime, we were called into a room. i'm glad they gave him a popsicle to keep him occupied, he loved the thing! i knew we were on the verge of a toddler meltdown. but they came in and wrapped his hand up, and told me they were transferring us down to Arrowhead, they wanted him to be seen by a burn unit. it was going on 1030 at this time, but i call my mom up, cry a little bit, and tell Mike, who had been bugging me all damned night, to get the diaper bag ready, i had to take Ryder almost 2 hours away in the middle of the night.
i get home and he had everything packed for all of us to go, which i thought was nice. but the whole way there he complained that he was tired. while i had been up for 20 hours, taking care of 2 babies, and we still werent home. but i just kept my mouth shut.
i have to say, after being in a public hospital now, just disgusts me. and i can only express in dull words how happy i am that the 4 of us walked out of there without some sort of nasty disease. the floor was disgusting, there were germs everywhere, i didn't want to take Lyvi out of her carseat at all, and after being seen, i didn't even bother waiting for the paperwork, i couldn't stand being in there any longer. as much as i hate Naval sometimes, i would take sitting there for another 5 hours, than going to a civilian emergency room ever again. i now have a bigger fear of not re enlisting! and then i almost killed Mike for making me drive home at 5AM, being up for almost 24 hours, and him passing our in the passengers seat. i was flooring it all the way home so i didn't fall asleep and i guess he got motion sick, haha. thats what the bitch gets, for not being able to hold his own. someone had to get my family home safely! he also got to sleep on the couch because i was far too exhausted to have to wake up with Lyvi and watch him sleep peacefully. it was one of those night where i would have stabbed him in the forehead....
on the way home when he woke up i told him that i had had enough. that, next time in a situation like this he needs to stay home because he makes everything worse. that he only thinks and takes care of himself. then i brought up the flower thing and told him he couldnt even do something nice for JUST one of us. that he always has to include himself as well. if i buy a new book, he buys a new game. if the kids get a new toy, he hunts for something that he can get. it's just rude. i told him that i needed his help and he hadn't pulled through very well that night. then we were silent the rest of the way home.
regardless.
Ryder is perfectly fine. after him falling asleep in the car on the way to Naval, he has acted like nothing happened, though he does pick at his fingers. he won't keep gauze or bandaids on at all and today in the pool, one of them ended up opening. Arrowhead had no idea why we were transferred and the burn unit didn't even come look at it, and they sent us on our way. i never, ever want something like this to happen ever again. as pissed as i was at Mike, i have to remind myself that he isn't as good of a dad as i am a mom, he's still learning to listen and juggle two kids, accidents do happen and it was kind of both of our faults. i think i was just most pissed because he NEVER listens to me, and this one time that he didn't, resulting in my poor baby getting hurt. it's not like i just said "hey, watch him real quick" and he got hurt.... like he didn't know it was on or something. but he did, i told him not 1 minute before the accident occured. he will not be punched every time he doesnt hear me or pay attention or listen when it comes to something with my babies.

the next morning i was still pretty bitter but i had gotten a decent amount of sleep since Ryder slept until noon and Lyvi woke up every 4 hours instead of 3. Mike offered to make me breakfast when he got up but i wanted to sleep rather than eat. and when i woke up when Ryder did and got the kids ready for the day, he was gone. he came back a little later with daisies and roses for me. i guess he actually listened to my rant that morning in the car. he said that he was sorry for not listening better and having Ryder get hurt. which, made me feel a little better because he doesnt say he's sorry like that often, but i think he knows what happened the night before was just... bad. but i got ready for the day and we asked Colbert if he wanted to go walk around the park in palm desert and go bowling, so we did.

i have to say that Ryder bowling is the cutest thing ever. he tries to carry the ball and his face doing so is hilarious. the alley had a little childrens ramp that you pul the ball on and they roll it down the lane and he had such a blast! i swear he was doing better than i was! it was amazing to see him doing a new thing, and he was so into it! and the fact that he wasn't acting hurt at all, made me realize how brave he really is. my big boy. :)
and then on the way home from palm desert i find this amazing Coach purse on bookoo for cheap.  i have no idea how i got started on loving Coach, i blame Kelsey for giving me my first wristlet! but ever since, i have gotten 2 more wristlets and a pair of Coach sneakers off bookoo. then i got my mom started on it! i'm buying her one for her birthday and she said she would send me money or the one i wanted. i think she had planned to buy some out here but of course the week she was here, bookoo had nothing lmao. i totally snagged it and i couldnt be happier. its so sad that i am happy over a purse, BUT, it was over $100 less than normal price, and i'm completely okay with that! score one for the big guy!

last night we went and had some adult time at the Padens. i can honestly say it was one of the best nights we have had out here in the desert. why? because everyone there was a parent! we were all chasing around kiddos and changing butts and laughing as they taught each other new things, Ryder of course, starting a squealing match with Carmen and Angie. we all knew what the others were going through, we watched as our kiddos interacted and shared, sometimes, their toys. Ryder was super shy at first but at the end of the night was swapping spit with Angie. being there was a completely different feel than hanging out with married couples without kids. and the fact that they were all well behaved and the parents actually gave a damn about watching them and giving them time outs for being mean to one of the others, made it that much better! it made me happy to see the dads changing diapers too, and feeding the kids, when they werent feeding each other, haha. it was just a wonderful night with great people, and great little kiddos. made me realize that there IS hope in this desert! :)

today was a really relaxing day. we went out to Yucca to go book hunting, but didnt find anything good. we got Starbucks and went into Big Five. Mike had thought they sold pistols, for some reason he's on this kick about getting me one now? no clue haha. well, they didn't have pistols but we got Ryder his first baseball. and while i was looking at little mitts, i realized having a lefty for a child is going to make things a little more difficult, but i love it! and he loved his baseball, almost tried taking it to bed with him and Blankie! then we went to the swim tank and took him swimming, was there for almost 2 hours, and met Uncle David there. Daddy gave Mommy some time and i got to go swimming in my new bikini, woo hoo! it was nice to be in the water. and watching Ryder is amazing! he is getting so good! today he put his face in the water, and put the basketball through the hoop when Daddy lifted him up. he didn't want to get out of the water, he was all pruney! i love that he is such a water baby and i think Lyvia will be too. i love taking them to the pool, nice little family outing!

Lyvia also turned on month old on Saturday, so sad. time flew by wayyyy too much! she is starting to smile more and coo, she was talking to Ryder the other day, it was adorable. she loves kisses from her big brother too. she sleeps really, really well. wakes up maybe twice a night to eat. she has such a sassy cry, she seems to hate car rides, and she HAS to be swaddled, or she will let you know how pissed off she is! but she's a little lover girl, and has dimples that i am in love with! i can't wait to see what her next month will be like!!!

and little mister is adorable as ever, been super lovey giving kisses all week. and he refuses to go to bed by himself at night. he has to be laying on mommys chest in her bed, and when he falls asleep i switch him to his bed. i love those moments. i love knowing he needs me, and thats our mommy/son time. it's absolutely perfect.

alsoooo, yes, i'm pretty excited for this!
on Thursday i will be going into Willow Tree Studios and talking with the director about being a tumbling teacher and teaching classes on Thursdays. i might have a job!!! as much as i would hate leaving my babies, even for a few hours a day, i know its something i need. not only for now but later on when we move. i want to be a coach, and if i can start now, perfect! i don't know too many details on it yet, i am super nervous for Thursday, and what happens after that, and trying to find a sitter and everything else. but i think this is a great opportunity for me out here. i'm glad that Mike is on board with it all as well. then i can put my passion into other little kiddos. i am so excited for what this might bring! things really are looking up, i couldnt be happier with life!

such random posts, lol. but i am trying to keep up with my life.
even if 90% of it is pointless, haha.
now i'm going to snuggle into my big bed and fall asleep so i will be on top of my game to wake up with my doodles in the morning.
because waking up every morning is the best thing i've ever done. :)


-ks.