twenty two.

ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
you have another thing coming to you woman.
bless my husbands heart.
now, i think we all know that i hate my mother in law, and her slut daughter with a mighty passion.
and the hatred has even been worse since my son was born, and she decided to call him by the wrong name. i haven't been too worried about it lately. i know that her and Mike talk sometimes. as much as i hate it, it doesnt cause problems. no matter where we live or what happens between us, there really is no getting rid of the bitch. they usually text once a month or so.
well, she texted him today. as i was reading the texts, i lost some brain cells.
i had to add "bad grammar" to the list of reasons i don't want her around my son. my son will be educated. his mother is a woman of words, and will not talk like a low grade black person with his pants around his fucking knees. which, seems to be the way my mother in law likes to talk. and whenever Mike talks like that, by saying "don't" rather than "doesn't" i get on his ass REAL fast.
well, she asked if my son was walking yet. that's all she asked about him. he's talking now, he has two teeth, he eats real food, and he no longer has his stomach issue and clearly, she "don't" (gosh i want to stab myself in the brain every time i ever JOKE like that.) care about all of that. well, she asked him if he was going to be able to come home in April.
now, as much as i want to go back to indiana and show off my pride and joy, plus one in my belly. and how upset i was with not going when we talked about it, i'm perfectly okay with that now. being almost 6 months pregnant, with a year old baby, and three loud dogs. no offense, going to see my mom and only my mom really, just isn't worth the stress of a four day car ride JUST to get there. Ryder gets cranky spending half a day in the car going to and from San Diego. really, the dogs were the deciding factor. and, losing all my "family" so, we had chose to just wait until we EAS out to make that road trip. that Buddy and Crystal, when they could afford it, would visit.
after Mike got home from Deployment, when we were working on things, i asked him if he honestly, wanted his mom and sister here. he looked me in the eye and told me that he didn't. that yeah, he would like to see them but after the stress of last visit, it wasn't worth it. that even if they stayed in a hotel, which obviously, would be a given, it would be too much. once again, extremely pregnant. and them not giving a fuck about my son in the first place. but honestly, lately, i have been thinking about it. that i could stomach a short visit, just so that they could see Ryder. once in two and a half years, isn't so bad.
that bitch!
tells my husband that, "whether i like it or not she's coming out for a LONG trip to see HER grandson."
for real lady?!?!
first of all, no. that isn't how you handle ANY situation you are clearly out of. whether i like it or not huh? lets see, i'm this childs mother, the sole caregiver, i am the one with him 24 god damn 7. and whether i like it or not you're going to come barging into MY hometown to see a child you have never seemed to give a flying fuck about?! excuse me. i don't think so.
had she said ANYTHING else, it might have been okay. since she is clearly STILL, disrespecting me, and clearly will never have respect for me, or even ask her son if he wants her here, once again i have to pull my bitch card out and put a freakin stop to it. it's just RUDE. and once again, she hasn't learned. she just texted Mike complaints about her work, and his sister, yadda yadda yadda. get a clue lady!

but my favorite part of the conversation was where Mike just stopped talking after that comment. i know he read it and rolled his eyes and put his phone back in his pocket.

it just makes me furious that just because this lady gave birth to my husband, that she feels the need to have a right in MY childrens lives. i'm not the biggest fan of Mikes father. i don't agree with what he has done in his life and the father he was. though, it made Mike become an amazing dad and change and grow up. however. that man has never disrespected me. he treated me like his own daughter, well, even better than his own daughter. and told his son he was proud of him for the woman he chose. even though i was really pissed at how Mike handled the time he came out and met Ryder, i got over it. and though i said that Ryder and i wouldn't be going to see his dad the next time he trucked out here, i don't mean that any longer. he may or may not be here on Saturday and Mike told him that he might not be able to because of the ultrasound. clearly, he learned his lesson from last time and i am proud.

there is something inside of me that can not stomach seeing one of those two immature women in my husbands life, holding my son. playing with him, or anything else. not out here. things have changed with Michael and i, and i myself have changed a great deal. but it's one step at a time. this is what i have always wanted for my children, and i'm not going to allow them near him. i am so tired of people saying it's the right thing, or that he's young and won't remember. but I will! i didn't struggle with no help from her, for months and months. i don't deal with what i deal with and teach him what i do, without her caring about him. just to waltz out to california for a "long" weekend. i just can not let it go. especially reading how she just told him. basically flat out said, "fuck your wife and what she wants or needs, i'm going to see him." no way! it makes me so, so angry! she hasn't changed, at all, since me taking my child from her. since stopping the emails, and her son being home and not talking to her much either. there has been no change at all. it's gotten worse. don't talk to my husband once a fucking month and expect to get everything you want. don't think you have a right in my two kids life when you have done absolutely nothing but disrespect me for a year and a half. with absolutely no apologize, whatsoever. obviously Ryder is Mikes as well but even he is smarter than to think that this is about to happen. hence the no response. she just ruined her chances, again. and not that we're about to be a family of four, and things between us are a lot better and where they need to be. he's going to stand up for whats right and fair. he's going to protect his family.

yeah, good luck breaking down these walls lady.
i'm not a push over. you haven't fought for any one of us, like i have fought for Mike. from his mom and sister, his friends, everyone. even STILL, almost 3 years and two babies later.
if theres one thing they all taught me, it's how to stay strong, stick to my guns, and fight. fight for what i believe in and what i want and never letting anyone take that from me.
thanks for that.
but you're never going to win.

-ks.